Registry Reflections

Nathan and I were “KidsSaving” his recent transactions yesterday.  That’s when we reconcile his bank statement with his KidsSave Account.  But it’s also when we make sure that his recent charity contributions or other expenses, get recorded.

He looked at the balance of his bank statement with wide eyes and said, “That’s all I have in the bank?”

It was over $400 so I was a little surprised at his concern.

“Haven’t you been keeping track in your registry?”  I asked.  He got a checking account this past summer so he’s been making more transactions than appears in his KidsSave Account.  As someone who teaches personal finance to kids, you can be sure I went over the importance of keeping a running record in the registry. 

He wasn’t.  And I knew that, but after reminding him several times to keep track, I decided to wait for him to learn his lesson on his own. I was hoping it wouldn’t be an expensive one.

It wasn’t.   But the scare he got seeing his “low” balance (he had deposited over $300 recently and it wasn’t reflected in his statement) made him a believer in registry recordings.  At least, it did last night.  We’ll see if he follows through, otherwise, it still may end up being an expensive lesson.

To Work or Not to Work

I was having coffee with some friends last week when we started talking about why having a job as a teenager may be a really good thing.  Of course, from a teens perspective, the extra cash is always nice.  But as a parent, there’s nothing like a “real” job to teach kids a few life lessons. 

A week earlier, I had a phone interview with a freelance writer about teens and working.  She asked if I thought having teens work was a good idea.  As long as work doesn’t get in the way of school, I’m all for it.  I like how having a part-time job can help teach kids time management.  I also like the idea of teens having a “boss” that is not mom or dad.  There tends to be a little more accountability that way.

As I’m describing this to the writer, she throws in that she had recently talked with a child psychologist who said that teens who had jobs growing up don’t do any better or worse  in their “real job” as adults than teens who didn’t have the pleasure of working when they were younger. 

Hmmm.  Without grilling her on the study the psychologist was referring to – what did he mean by didn’t do any better or worse – I had to disagree slightly.  It could very well be that time management and working hard comes readily to adults regardless of having a job as a teen. 

But there is absolutely nothing like having to earn and then manage your own money as a teen.  Living within your means, setting priorities, learning how to save, budgeting, and my favorite…making money mistakes - all learned before leaving the comfort of home.  Priceless.

Of course, there’s a lot more to it than that.  Parents need to be involved in helping their teens take advantage of these lessons.  And part of that is not bailing out their teens when they make mistakes.  A difficult thing for a lot of parents.

But as I was chatting that morning with my girlfriends, it was apparent that there was one more really important lesson that I had forgotten about.  The lesson that minimum wage is not going to provide our kids with the lifestyle they expect to live as adults.  And that lesson is worth every newspaper they throw, every dish they wash, every burger they flip.

Saving Savvy at Christmas

Nathan had one of his friends over the other day.  They were chatting about Christmas shopping.  Apparently Valerie had most of her shopping done.  Nathan – none.  He’s not a big shopper.

It has been my experience that girls are more apt to buy their friends Christmas gifts than boys…and enjoy the process.  I see this in my nieces and in the daughters of  my friends.  Not so much with any of the boys.  And as much as I don’t like generalizing, it’s hard to ignore the fact that girls are usually the ones who plan the parties, organize the potlucks, and buy the gifts.

It’s not that Nathan doesn’t have any shopping to do.  He has to buy a gift for Ryan and for the “White Elephant” gift exchange we’re having this year.  A gift for mom and dad would be nice.  But gifts for friends?  There seems to be some unspoken agreement among the group not to subject each other to the burden of shopping.

But I like what Valerie had to say about her Christmas shopping this year.  She and her friends decided to do a Secret Santa.  The reason?  “To save money.”  She said it so matter-of-factly, it was like she was telling me the time.

And I had to smile to myself.  Maybe this next generation will be a little more saving-savvy than their parents.  Maybe saving will simply be what normal people do.  And a benefit of spending less?  No shopping.

Keeping Track

Nathan and Ryan received their second, and final, soccer reffing checks in the mail yesterday.

“How much are you expecting?” I asked.

“A lot,” was the answer I received from both.  And a lot it was!  Nathan’s check came to $210 and Ryan’s came in at $164. 

But as nice as those numbers are, if you are not keeping track of what it is you are owed, you run the risk of not getting paid for the time you worked. 

The only way the soccer ref coordinator knows that you have, indeed, reffed a game, is through the game cards.  These game cards are signed by each referee then turned in sometime after each game.  But things happen.  Maybe the card gets lost under the seat of your car.  In which case, it doesn’t get turned in and you don’t receive reffing money for that game.  Besides, if other kids reffed the same game and you are responsible for turning in the card, they lose out, too.  

So when I saw the blank stares looking at me after I asked if they were sure they were getting paid for all their games, I knew I had failed in teaching them how to keep track.  I should have had them keep a list of each game they reffed and the amount they received for each one.   That way it would be a quick once-over when the checks arrived.

I suppose they could go back over the season and try and figure it out.  They probably won’t.

Note to self:  August, 2010, review with boys how to keep track of money owed.

A Purpose

Nathan and his friend, Jayson, were making themselves a snack yesterday afternoon.   We started chatting about the math test that Nathan had studied for the night before.    He’s taking pre-calculus and has been having a little difficulty making connections between some of the concepts.  This was a big test for him and he was describing some of the problems.

That’s when Jayson made a comment about how he finally turned his grades around because he found a purpose.  Normally, I would have thought this was another one of Jayson’s  wise cracks.  He has a knack for making fun of just about anything.  But there was something slightly different about his tone.  And when I pressed him about it he said, “I figured out what I want to do in life.  I want to go into sports medicine.  And I can’t do that if I don’t get good grades.”

I think it was one of the few times I had ever seen Jayson be dead serious.  And it was weird, because he looked like a completely different kid for a moment.  That’s when I knew that, as a junior in high school, he had found his passion.

Not all kids will find their passion that young.  And others know it as soon as they’re born.   But part of our job as parents is to help our kids discover what interests them.  It begins by asking them what they like to do.

In Jayson’s case, he loves basketball.  He’s pretty sure he’s not going to be an NBA pick any time soon.  So Plan B is to work around that.  He can still be involved in sports, just on a different level.  And since his open heart surgery a couple of years ago, his mom helped him get involved in working with other kids who have had surgery.  Through this, he discovered his place in life, his purpose.

If we can help our kids look for their purpose through the things they love, the chances of them having careers and lives they enjoy is greatly increased.  And you can bet that if I ever need to see a sports medicine doctor, I want it to be someone like Jayson, someone who worked hard to follow his passion.

Enjoy the Ride

I had the pleasure of sitting in the passenger seat while Nathan drove me and Ryan into Sacramento.   We were headed for a tour of the Capitol as something to do while John’s parents were visiting.  Since we sold the Suburban last year, taking two cars has come up a number of times.

I noticed how smoothly Nathan accelerated each time the light turned green.  So smooth I had to look out the window to make sure we were actually moving.  I wondered if he was doing that because mom was sitting next to him.

“Notice how I don’t peel out when the light turns green?” he asked.  “That’s because the car uses less gas that way.” 

And there you have it.  It had nothing to do with impressing me with his new driving skills.  It had to do with saving money.  Money he is responsible for.

“Of course,” he admitted, “Sometimes it’s nice to take off a little faster.  Like if I’m at school.” 

I smiled to myself as I thought of him “peeling” out of the school parking lot in an attempt to impress whoever was around.  I’m pretty confident he doesn’t burn rubber.  Nathan is a safe driver.  Besides, Ryan is always with him and he would tell me.

It never ceases to amaze me that when kids are in charge of their spending, they often make the right choices.  And when it comes to one particular teenage boy and his car, as a mom, that’s a relief.

Is Love Necessary?

I was talking to Nathan yesterday as he headed off to ref five soccer games.  Reffing soccer is good money.  Depending on how many other refs are involved in the game (there can be up to three), he could easily make $100.  That’s a lot of gas and burger money for a teenager.

“I was thinking about which was worse,” Nathan started.  “Running a 3K race or reffing a soccer game.”

I wasn’t surprised that either of those choices was on his list of things I really don’t like to do.  He’s not terribly fond of running.  But he runs anyway because he loves hanging out with the high school cross country team.  And he knows it’s a good way to stay in shape.  It’s the races that are excruciatingly painful.  But that’s because he figures if he’s going to be running anyway, he might as well give it his all.

Then there’s the reffing.  It’s the long hours of standing that he doesn’t like.  He knows it’s a pretty easy job, and for the amount of money he can make in one day compared to working at a burger joint, he’s got it made.

So his comment led to a discussion about jobs vs careers.  Do we have to love the jobs we do?  I told him I didn’t love cleaning toilets but it needs to get done.  I don’t do it as my career and that makes all the difference.

“I know, I know,” he said.  “Sometimes we have to do things we don’t really like.  I would never make a career out of reffing soccer.  But it’s really good money.  Besides, my career is going to do with public speaking and I’m really looking forward to that.”

As parents, I think it’s important to encourage our kids to find the things they really love to do and help them turn it into a career.  Nathan will love his “job” when he’s older, because it’s his passion.  But I also think it’s important for our teens to experience doing things that aren’t necessarily their passion.  There’s a lot of life skills, not to mention lessons, that they can learn from those.

I told Nathan to look at all the skills he’s learning through reffing and running.  Reffing has taught him to be responsible; he needs to show up on time and in the proper attire.  It’s taught him how to deal with angry parents and coaches.  And he’s learned to trust himself and the calls he makes.

Running has taught him what it’s like to be a team member.    It’s taught him the importance of going to practice.  And it’s taught him to set goals and work to achieve them.

You don’t need to love your job.  You do need to love your career.

BTW, his answer…running, because it’s over in 19 minutes.

Inside Out

So I’ve noticed the last several times I’ve done a load of laundry, that Nathan’s shirts are always turned inside out.  I have this thing about reversing clothes and socks.  I don’t do it.  If either the boys or John take off their socks inside out, they get washed inside out and folded inside out.  Same with shirts, underwear, shorts… They don’t like it when I do that, so they’re careful about how they take off their clothes.

But having to hang Nathan’s shirts inside out hasn’t happened in a long, long time.  So I asked him why, all of a sudden, he was taking off his shirts inside out.

“So the designs on the front last longer,” was his reply.

Most of Nathan’s shirts have printed designs on the front and, apparently he had noticed that they were beginning to fade.  Somehow in conversation with one of his friend,s he found out that by washing the shirts inside out, the design on the front could last longer.

Nathan buys all of his own clothes.  He gets a clothing allowance at the beginning of the school year that needs to last until spring when he’ll get another, smaller, allowance to take him through summer.  The money he doesn’t spend is his to keep.   The deal is, he makes a list of needed items that I approve, and then he goes out and buys the items.  That way he’s not wearing shirts with holes in them just to save the money.

So I found it interesting that since he is responsible for buying his clothes, he wants them to last as long as possible – designs and all.  And it made me wonder that, without this responsibility, would his shirts have ended up in the laundry inside out?

Divots and Entrepreneurs

“How much do you think I could get for this on eBay?”  Ryan was holding up a  chunk of sod and grass that, in golfers lingo, is called a divot.  It’s what’s left after a golfer takes a hard shot at a ball lying on the grass.

We were at the President’s Cup in San Francisco and all the big names in golf were there with us:  VJ Singh, Phil Mickelson, Mike Weir, Ernie Els, Fred Couples…and, everybody’s favorite, Tiger Woods.

It was Tiger’s divot that Ryan was holding.  Normally, spectators don’t get to pick up after players.  There’s a rope that keeps us on one side and the players on the other.  Professional golfers usually hit their tee shots right down the center of the fairway.  But, as good as he is, Tiger has been known to veer off in either direction.  And that’s exactly what happened to us yesterday.

“It’s coming our way!”  That’s what I heard right before I looked down and saw a small white ball roll right past my shoes.  Tiger’s ball.  For a second, it was a little surreal.  This had just happened two holes before with Ishikawa’s tee shot.  His ball rolled right beside me, as well, and we were within several feet of him, watching him take his second shot.

And now, Tiger’s ball was literally inches from my toes.  Well, you can imagine what the crowd was like.  And I wasn’t moving until someone made me.  Which is exactly what happened.  But even so, I was feet away from the ball, and then, feet away from Tiger, watching him size everything up.

And then, just before he took his swing, I saw him close his eyes.  He was visualizing.  This is a powerful technique used by a lot of athletes to see the play in their minds first.  And it’s a technique that is used a lot for anyone who has a specific goal in mind.  Seeing the goal in your mind can help you as you work towards attaining it.  It’s a great thing to teach kids, for whatever goals they may have.

But back to Tiger.  He was about 240 yards from the pin.  The pin couldn’t be seen from where we were standing because of several trees.  I was wondering how he was going to play it since it wasn’t a straight shot.  And that’s when I learned the true meaning of a pro.  He didn’t need to take a straight shot.  When I watched his ball sail into the air and then make a left turn towards the pin, well, I’m not sure I can describe the sense of awe I felt.  I didn’t know that could be done.  I sure as heck haven’t seen John or Nathan do that.

Ture to form, Ryan had staked out that divot as soon as the shot was taken.  He had it in his hands in seconds and I was looking for a second baggie to put this one in. (Ishikawa’s was already in our fanny pack.)   

That’s when Ryan asked me how much he could get for the divot on eBay.  I love the way he thinks.  Even though I’m pretty sure the answer is ‘zilch’ the fact that he’s looking at the potential of a piece of dirt means he’s open to being presented with possibilities where the answer may not be ‘zilch’.  And that’s the sign of a true entrepreneur.

And for anyone who’s interested, we have Tiger’s divot off the first tee at The President’s Cup.  I’m sure we can negotiate a good deal.

Dress Swap

I got a phone call from Nathan and Ryan’s high school yesterday.  It was on the automated system they implemented several years ago as a way to keep parents informed about school happenings.  And I love it.  Believe it or not, I don’t often find out what’s going on at school through the boys!

I was prepared to hear about the upcoming football game or PSAT testing dates but was pleasantly surprised, instead, to find out about the First Annual Dress Swap.  What a great idea! 

Homecoming Dance is coming in three weeks.  It’s a much bigger deal than when I remember being in high school.  Seeing all the dolled up girls at last year’s dance made me a little thankful that, having boys, a new shirt and maybe tie was all I needed to worry about.  Those dresses can get pretty pricey.

So here’s the gist of the Swap: girls donate their slightly used semi-formal dresses to the Swap.  In return, they receive free entry to the first thirty minutes where they will have pick of the dresses.  The dresses will only cost them $10.  Those girls who don’t donate can buy a ticket and then buy a dress for $15.

Being someone who loves a great deal, I love this idea.  But I’m not a female teenager about to go to one of the biggest dances of the year.  Are they worried that they may end up wearing so-and-so’s dress and not even know it?  Does that matter to teenage girls?  And is this group of girls used to wearing hand-me-downs?  I’m not so sure about that.

 I’d like to know who’s been paying for their dresses so far.  It’s an important question.  Because if the answer is the parent, there may be less of a chance that a teenage girl will make use of the swap.  When kids have to pay for these extras themselves, the idea of a swap is much more palatable.

Here’s hoping the swap is a great success.  It would be disappointing for this to be the First and Last Annual Dress Swap.