Is Love Necessary?

I was talking to Nathan yesterday as he headed off to ref five soccer games.  Reffing soccer is good money.  Depending on how many other refs are involved in the game (there can be up to three), he could easily make $100.  That’s a lot of gas and burger money for a teenager.

“I was thinking about which was worse,” Nathan started.  “Running a 3K race or reffing a soccer game.”

I wasn’t surprised that either of those choices was on his list of things I really don’t like to do.  He’s not terribly fond of running.  But he runs anyway because he loves hanging out with the high school cross country team.  And he knows it’s a good way to stay in shape.  It’s the races that are excruciatingly painful.  But that’s because he figures if he’s going to be running anyway, he might as well give it his all.

Then there’s the reffing.  It’s the long hours of standing that he doesn’t like.  He knows it’s a pretty easy job, and for the amount of money he can make in one day compared to working at a burger joint, he’s got it made.

So his comment led to a discussion about jobs vs careers.  Do we have to love the jobs we do?  I told him I didn’t love cleaning toilets but it needs to get done.  I don’t do it as my career and that makes all the difference.

“I know, I know,” he said.  “Sometimes we have to do things we don’t really like.  I would never make a career out of reffing soccer.  But it’s really good money.  Besides, my career is going to do with public speaking and I’m really looking forward to that.”

As parents, I think it’s important to encourage our kids to find the things they really love to do and help them turn it into a career.  Nathan will love his “job” when he’s older, because it’s his passion.  But I also think it’s important for our teens to experience doing things that aren’t necessarily their passion.  There’s a lot of life skills, not to mention lessons, that they can learn from those.

I told Nathan to look at all the skills he’s learning through reffing and running.  Reffing has taught him to be responsible; he needs to show up on time and in the proper attire.  It’s taught him how to deal with angry parents and coaches.  And he’s learned to trust himself and the calls he makes.

Running has taught him what it’s like to be a team member.    It’s taught him the importance of going to practice.  And it’s taught him to set goals and work to achieve them.

You don’t need to love your job.  You do need to love your career.

BTW, his answer…running, because it’s over in 19 minutes.

Inside Out

So I’ve noticed the last several times I’ve done a load of laundry, that Nathan’s shirts are always turned inside out.  I have this thing about reversing clothes and socks.  I don’t do it.  If either the boys or John take off their socks inside out, they get washed inside out and folded inside out.  Same with shirts, underwear, shorts… They don’t like it when I do that, so they’re careful about how they take off their clothes.

But having to hang Nathan’s shirts inside out hasn’t happened in a long, long time.  So I asked him why, all of a sudden, he was taking off his shirts inside out.

“So the designs on the front last longer,” was his reply.

Most of Nathan’s shirts have printed designs on the front and, apparently he had noticed that they were beginning to fade.  Somehow in conversation with one of his friend,s he found out that by washing the shirts inside out, the design on the front could last longer.

Nathan buys all of his own clothes.  He gets a clothing allowance at the beginning of the school year that needs to last until spring when he’ll get another, smaller, allowance to take him through summer.  The money he doesn’t spend is his to keep.   The deal is, he makes a list of needed items that I approve, and then he goes out and buys the items.  That way he’s not wearing shirts with holes in them just to save the money.

So I found it interesting that since he is responsible for buying his clothes, he wants them to last as long as possible – designs and all.  And it made me wonder that, without this responsibility, would his shirts have ended up in the laundry inside out?

Divots and Entrepreneurs

“How much do you think I could get for this on eBay?”  Ryan was holding up a  chunk of sod and grass that, in golfers lingo, is called a divot.  It’s what’s left after a golfer takes a hard shot at a ball lying on the grass.

We were at the President’s Cup in San Francisco and all the big names in golf were there with us:  VJ Singh, Phil Mickelson, Mike Weir, Ernie Els, Fred Couples…and, everybody’s favorite, Tiger Woods.

It was Tiger’s divot that Ryan was holding.  Normally, spectators don’t get to pick up after players.  There’s a rope that keeps us on one side and the players on the other.  Professional golfers usually hit their tee shots right down the center of the fairway.  But, as good as he is, Tiger has been known to veer off in either direction.  And that’s exactly what happened to us yesterday.

“It’s coming our way!”  That’s what I heard right before I looked down and saw a small white ball roll right past my shoes.  Tiger’s ball.  For a second, it was a little surreal.  This had just happened two holes before with Ishikawa’s tee shot.  His ball rolled right beside me, as well, and we were within several feet of him, watching him take his second shot.

And now, Tiger’s ball was literally inches from my toes.  Well, you can imagine what the crowd was like.  And I wasn’t moving until someone made me.  Which is exactly what happened.  But even so, I was feet away from the ball, and then, feet away from Tiger, watching him size everything up.

And then, just before he took his swing, I saw him close his eyes.  He was visualizing.  This is a powerful technique used by a lot of athletes to see the play in their minds first.  And it’s a technique that is used a lot for anyone who has a specific goal in mind.  Seeing the goal in your mind can help you as you work towards attaining it.  It’s a great thing to teach kids, for whatever goals they may have.

But back to Tiger.  He was about 240 yards from the pin.  The pin couldn’t be seen from where we were standing because of several trees.  I was wondering how he was going to play it since it wasn’t a straight shot.  And that’s when I learned the true meaning of a pro.  He didn’t need to take a straight shot.  When I watched his ball sail into the air and then make a left turn towards the pin, well, I’m not sure I can describe the sense of awe I felt.  I didn’t know that could be done.  I sure as heck haven’t seen John or Nathan do that.

Ture to form, Ryan had staked out that divot as soon as the shot was taken.  He had it in his hands in seconds and I was looking for a second baggie to put this one in. (Ishikawa’s was already in our fanny pack.)   

That’s when Ryan asked me how much he could get for the divot on eBay.  I love the way he thinks.  Even though I’m pretty sure the answer is ‘zilch’ the fact that he’s looking at the potential of a piece of dirt means he’s open to being presented with possibilities where the answer may not be ‘zilch’.  And that’s the sign of a true entrepreneur.

And for anyone who’s interested, we have Tiger’s divot off the first tee at The President’s Cup.  I’m sure we can negotiate a good deal.

Dress Swap

I got a phone call from Nathan and Ryan’s high school yesterday.  It was on the automated system they implemented several years ago as a way to keep parents informed about school happenings.  And I love it.  Believe it or not, I don’t often find out what’s going on at school through the boys!

I was prepared to hear about the upcoming football game or PSAT testing dates but was pleasantly surprised, instead, to find out about the First Annual Dress Swap.  What a great idea! 

Homecoming Dance is coming in three weeks.  It’s a much bigger deal than when I remember being in high school.  Seeing all the dolled up girls at last year’s dance made me a little thankful that, having boys, a new shirt and maybe tie was all I needed to worry about.  Those dresses can get pretty pricey.

So here’s the gist of the Swap: girls donate their slightly used semi-formal dresses to the Swap.  In return, they receive free entry to the first thirty minutes where they will have pick of the dresses.  The dresses will only cost them $10.  Those girls who don’t donate can buy a ticket and then buy a dress for $15.

Being someone who loves a great deal, I love this idea.  But I’m not a female teenager about to go to one of the biggest dances of the year.  Are they worried that they may end up wearing so-and-so’s dress and not even know it?  Does that matter to teenage girls?  And is this group of girls used to wearing hand-me-downs?  I’m not so sure about that.

 I’d like to know who’s been paying for their dresses so far.  It’s an important question.  Because if the answer is the parent, there may be less of a chance that a teenage girl will make use of the swap.  When kids have to pay for these extras themselves, the idea of a swap is much more palatable.

Here’s hoping the swap is a great success.  It would be disappointing for this to be the First and Last Annual Dress Swap.

Gas Money

I don’t like to interfere with the business dealings Nathan and Ryan have.  I am confident that they can handle them effectively and ethically.  A year ago I probably wouldn’t have included the word ‘ethically’ but given what’s happened since then, focusing on ethics has become pretty important.

Nathan has a little side business where he drives kids to and from school…for gas money.  If you read an earlier post where I wrote about two empty seats in his car – he has filled them both.  He no longer has to shell out any of his own money to fill up his tank.  Nice.

When it came to deciding how much to charge his passengers, he decided to leave it up to them to pay him what they thought was reasonable.  This has worked both for and against him.

Like a lot of kids, Nathan has a pretty good sense for fairness.  And he can pretty much back up his fairness arguments which he did for me when he was describing how he thought that the payment of one of the passengers was unfair. 

“I have to drive out of my way to pick him up.  That takes gas and extra time.  Besides, I’m saving his parents so much time; they don’t have to drive 13 miles to pick him up and then drive 13 miles to bring him home.  That alone should cost a little extra.”  He’s paying Nathan $5/week.

On the other hand, one of the other boys is paying $10/week.  I thought it was too much and actually talked to his mom who is a friend of mine.  She insisted, saying that the time she saved not having to drive him to school and not having to work her schedule around him was worth the $10.

And that’s how Nathan thinks, as well.  It’s not just the miles driven, but there’s most definitely a time factor involved.

Then there’s the kid who still hasn’t paid Nathan a cent since the beginning of school.  He’s a friend of the kid who’s mom pays Nathan $10.  I told Nathan he might want to get on top of that before the “bill” becomes too overwhelming.

“I’ll just keep bugging him about it every day until he pays.”

Really?  And how’s that going?   “It’s kind of awkward, but eventually he’ll get it.”

Hmmm…not so sure this is the best strategy.  But he’s got to figure that out on his own.  And because gas money is so important to him, it’ll be interesting to watch how this all unfolds.  Besides, he’s learning how to deal with people when there’s money involved.  And those two combinations can make for some pretty interesting discoveries.

Wanna Know What Kids are Saving For?

Very cool.  I’ve actually wanted to know the answer to this for a log time…on a bigger scale than the students I work with.  And I happened upon it today.  US Bank surveyed 1500 (that’s a lot!) kids ages 5 – 12 to find out what they were saving for.  Here’s what they discovered:

• 30% college
• 15% car
• 10% pet
• 9% trip
• 8% video game
• 7% helping others/animals
• 6% iphone
• 5% laptop
• 4% musical instrument
• 3% cell phone
• 3% other

I actually was surprised by the number of kids this age saving for college.  I’ve no doubt they’re saving for other things, as well, but the percentage that is consistently contributing to their college fund was impressive.

And that they are also looking ahead to the day they get the car keys was equally impressive.  Sometime the ‘future’ is just too much for kids to grasp actually saving for. 

Okay, so it’s probably a little biased towards kids who have savings accounts (the kids surveyed had accounts at US Bank) and these kids are being trained to think saving is a good thing.  But that’s okay.  The goal is to get as many kids as possible to open accounts so that they, too can learn to save for the future.

I did think it was interesting that the iphone and cell phone categories were separated.  Together they total 9%.  Aren’t they the same thing, technically?  All I can say is that nothing can touch the marketing geniuses at Apple.

Then there’s the pet category which came in at 10%.  Could this be a ploy by the parents to put off having one more thing to take care of?  Probably not.  I would love to know what kind of pet they’re saving for.  And if this includes some of the things that come along with a pet like leashes or cages.

I liked seeing the (other) 9% saving for a trip.  My guess is these are band or science camp trips.  Having kids contribute to these often expensive trips is a great first longer-term savings goal.  If they can save for that, then for sure they can save for their car…or college.

And, of course, it’s always nice to see kids saving for the purpose of giving.

All in all, I was pleasantly surprised.  Saving is a habit we need to be teaching all of our youngsters.  I know of a group that’s already well on their way.

Priorities Established…and They’re Only 5

So that was fun.  I got to hang out with  kindergartners  and first graders this morning.  With Ryan’s former K/1 teacher.  It was like old times when I used to go in twice a week and teach math.  Only this time, I was the student.

That’s because I wanted to find out what 5- and 6-year olds know about money.  I told them that I wanted to learn from them today.  They thought that was pretty cool and sat up straight for me.

So when I asked about money, this is what I got:  “You buy stuff with it.”  Yes, indeedy, that is what money is for.  And since about 10 other kids said the same thing when I called on them, I decided to move on.  Besides, I was really more interested in what they thought about being rich.

It’s sort of a no-brainer…being rich is very nice, but my real goal was to see if they could understand that there were different things, besides money, that they could be rich in.  And would you believe it!?  They totally got it. 

“You can be rich in friends,” said one little girl.

“Or you can be rich in kindness,”  said another.

“Rich in kindness means you are nice to other people,” explained the girl sitting next to her.

Holy, schmoley, was I ever impressed.  They even shared that being rich in kindness and friends is more important than being rich in money.  And now that we’ve got priorities established, I’d like to show them how they can become rich in money.  Because those are the kids who will grow up with the foundation to use money and really make a difference in this world.

Debt Sucks

I help prepare kids for their eventual financial futures.  Which means, I get them when they’re young and teach them how to stay out of debt and build wealth.  So being confronted with young adults who are already thousands of dollars in debt is a bit sobering for me.

I was asked to work with a group of foster kids (they’re actually 16-23 year olds) and teach them stuff about money.  So on my first visit, I played a little game to see what they already knew.  I was impressed that most were aware of the perils of credit card debt.  But they were surprised to hear about the importance of credit scores and the power of compound interest.  When I left, I handed them a tracking sheet so they could write down all of their expenses for the next week’s class, which was today.

Not one kid filled out the tracking sheet.  So I found myself punting.  I did a quick review of needs and wants.  One girl showed a pack of cigarettes as one of her wants.  Great.  Another one had a coffee from Starbucks.  And yet another was sitting there with a bag of Pepperidge Farm cookies and a large soda.  “Lunch?”  I asked.  “Nope.  I had to get cough medicine and it was there at the checkout.”

My goal for the day was to have them look at their tracked expenses and see where they were spending money that they could cut back on.  Apparently we didn’t need the tracking sheets because I had physical samples sitting right in front of me.

So I showed them how much their oh, it’s just a few dollars spending habits cost them over a year.  Cigarettes:  $1264/year; Starbucks coffee:  $1440!!

As expected, they were all shocked, and that includes the social workers who were there.  Somehow this led to some pretty interesting discussions about debt.  Specifically, their debt.

One has $120 in debt.  Another isn’t quite sure but it’s in the hundreds.  All owed to family and friends.  And one, owes, she thinks, a whopping $6000.  “Credit card debt?”  I asked?  “Nope.  Fines,” she says.  “Everything’s gone to collections.  And you have to pay interest on it.”

I asked her how it happened.  It started small with not paying the cable bill, then utilities.  “It just kept snowballing,” she said.  She’s so overwhelmed she can’t see a light at the end of the tunnel.

The next time I meet with them it will be in a smaller group.  They will put together a concrete plan to get out and stay out of debt. 

For so long I’ve been working with kids before debt.  Today was my first real exposure to a group of kids after debt.    My goal is to one day soon work with a group of kids post-debt.  This group of kids.

5-Year Olds DO Get It

I had the pleasure of a phone conversation with my 5-year old niece, Olivia, the other night.  We were chatting about her first weeks in Kindergarten.  Apparently, Ian had brought in a pretty nifty coin collection because she talked about it for about a minute, which, if you know anything about five-year-olds, is a pretty long time for any one topic!

So that led to a discussion (albeit, short) on money.  I asked her what she knew about money.  “You buy stuff with it.” 

“If you could buy anything you wanted, what would you buy?” I asked her.

“Bubble gum, candy, and toys,” she replied.  Hmmm, I was thinking.  Time to get her mom to put her on an allowance program using KidsSave.

I knew I didn’t have much time left with this topic so I if I was going to only get one more question in, this was it:

“Do you save any of the money you get?”

The answer was priceless (pun intended!).  “Yes!  One day I want to be rich.”

And there it is.   Five-year olds know what money is for, they know it’s important, and they know that if they want to be rich, they’re going to have to save some of it.  And just when I was going to ask a follow-up question, she says, “I’m done talking about money.  Let’s talk about Halloween.”

A $300 Lesson

I’d heard about stuff like this before but this was my first real exposure to it.  $300 in overdraft fees.

In response to my question, “What are some of your experiences with money?” Josh, a 19-year old in my young adult money class answered, “I cut up my debit card.” 

 That’s when he told us of his overdraft experience.  He didn’t realize that the bank would continue to pay for his debit card purchases even though there was no money in his account.  Enter the fees.  And a very lucrative way for banks to cash in.  

Josh is one of seven kids in my group.  He, along with the others, grew up in the foster care system.  He doesn’t have a lot of money.  So it really irks me when I hear these kinds of stories.  It’s expensive to be poor, I tell the kids.  And it stops now.

My goal is to give these young adults the information they missed growing up.  And to help them set up personal plans for financial success.  I’ve never worked with “kids” this old so this is all new to me.  I’m not sure what my own plan to get them there is, but you can bet that when I hear stories like Josh’s, I’m going to figure it out.

They were all fascinated by the power of compound interest.  Not one of them had heard of it before.  But they all want in.   And that’s the power of knowing.  It gives us choices.

These kids have jobs.  And checking accounts, and some savings.  One of the girls even has a little 4 month old.  I read a statistic this morning that said it costs around $221,190 to raise a child to age 18.  Here’s another stat:  The average personal wealth of a 50-year old American including home equity is $50,000.

Yup.  $50,000.  Including home equity.

Ever heard a high school kid ask, “When are we ever going to use this stuff  in real life?” 

If the subject is personal finance, the answer is, “Every day.”

Driving home this afternoon really made me think about why kids are not learning these things and what we need to do to make it happen. I’m not sure.   But if we don’t want our kids to pay $300 before they learn how to keep track of money in a registry, we’d better figure it out.